As 2012 peaks its head around the corner, now is the time to contemplate the change you want to be, or your family wants to be.  While adults are used to making New Year resolutions, perhaps it’s time to think of New Year family resolutions. After all, a resolution is simply a desire to make a change, or to make a better decision. Oftentimes New Year resolutions revolve around health and lifestyle decisions. So why not include the kids and see what changes they would like to make?

Completing resolutions can also help children (and adults) learn about self-discipline and meeting goals.

Resolutions don’t have to be difficult. They can be small steps. Attempting to make a giant shift in your life in one fail swoop, can lead to disappointment and failure. But small steps along the way – small goals- are much easier to complete.

Family structured New Year resolutions can be great teaching and learning moments. Maybe there is something that a teen or pre-teen has been thinking about, but doesn’t know where to begin. Having the family together to talk out solutions is an excellent starting point. As the year progresses, coming together as a family and talking about what is working and what isn’t can help keep everyone on track.

Dr. Benjamin Siegel, professor of pediatrics and psychiatry at Boston University School of Medicine, suggests saying, "Each one of us is going to state a few things that we want to continue to do and things we'd like to change that would make us feel better about ourselves and how our family works."

Each family member should have a chance to express his or her idea for a personal resolution. To begin, it might be easier if a parent or caregiver goes first. If your child is old enough to write, have them write their resolutions down. If you have a little one who cannot write, offer to write it down for them.

Resolutions can also be about promising to do more things together, and to share more as a family.

Some ideas might be family camping and hiking, volunteering, exercising together, church or social activities. Try to limit the number so they are more doable and more meaningful. "A list of 100 things is impossible," Siegel says. “It should be based on things that are doable without economic hardship."

When everyone gets busy with work, school and daily living, resolutions are often forgotten. Try having a public place such as a bulletin board where daily reminders can be seen. Have a calendar that only has dates marked for completing certain activities or goals. A “resolution box” is a great idea for keeping the changes going. Each family member can add to the box throughout the year.

Different ages will dictate different resolutions and goals. What works with a small child, most likely isn’t going to apply to a pre-teen or teen. Resolutions should be age appropriate.

For preschool-aged children, the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends resolutions that focus on cleaning up toys, brushing teeth and washing hands and being kind to pets. If your family already does these things, higher goals can be substituted,

Dr. Kathleen Clarke-Pearson, a clinical assistant professor of pediatrics at the University of North Carolina School of Medicine, suggests preschoolers be encouraged to work on listening and helping skills. A resolution could be "I will be a better listener when Mommy or Daddy asks me to do something" or "I will help out more when Mommy or Daddy asks me." If you keep it simple, your child is more likely to understand the concept as well as succeed.

For the five to twelve year old age group, the AAP suggests this group may want to commit to drinking more milk and water on a daily basis, and move away from high calorie sodas and juices. Each child has individual needs that can be addressed. Getting enough sleep, and better study habits, are two goals that will improve a child’s ability to do well in school and at home.

When your child gets into adolescence, the AAP recommendations focus more on the child taking more responsibility for his actions, including taking care of his body, dealing with stress in a healthy way, talking through conflict, resisting drugs and alcohol and helping others through community service.

And of course, parents should be good role models. Starting with smaller goals helps adults as well as kids. "Parents should be reflective about how they wish to be in the coming year," Siegel says. "It's a good opportunity to promote good mental and physical health."

One of the best ways to help family members reach their goals is to acknowledge when someone completes a resolution. Whether it’s losing weight, quitting smoking, brushing teeth on a regular basis, cleaning a room – all accomplishments should be recognized. Nothing spurs someone to keep going than the feeling of completing a task, or a goal and knowing that someone is proud of him or her for the effort they put in.

When you sit down to review resolutions, this is not time for punishment, however. It's important to be flexible and understanding, especially if the child is making the effort. "You don't penalize if you don't fulfill a resolution," Clarke-Pearson says. "The resolution is not written in stone. It's a guide."

So be flexible, but have limits and boundaries. Praise and encouragement should come when a goal is reached, or a true effort is made. If a goal needs to be adjusted, that fine too. Resolutions often require changing how something is completed. It’s part of the learning process. 

However your family arrives at resolutions, the best part is that you're doing it together and learning how to manage your role not only in the family but also in the larger world.

Source: http://www.pbs.org/parents/special/article-winter-making-new-years-resolutions-with-your-child.html