Want to be a happily married couple? You and your spouse should consider having children a new study suggests. And the study suggests having more than one child.
But the study, published in the October 14, 2009, online edition of the Journal of Happiness Studies, says that unmarried couples shouldn’t expect to find greater happiness through children. The study suggests that having children has little or no effect on boosting happiness among couples who aren’t married.
The findings contradict previous research that suggested that having more offspring doesn’t lead to greater happiness and might even make people less satisfied with their lives. One theory behind the conclusion is that parents don’t receive many rewards in return for the hard work of raising children.
The new study, however, notes that parents say children are one of the most important things in their lives, if not the most important.
The study found that life satisfaction for married people — women especially — goes up the more kids they have. Single, separated and co-habiting people, by contrast, report negative experiences.
“One is tempted to advance that children make people better off under the ‘right conditions’ — a time in life when people feel that they are ready, or at least willing, to enter parenthood,” said Dr. Luis Angeles, of the University of Glasgow. “This time can come at very different moments for different individuals, but a likely signal of its approach may well be the act of marriage.”
“Single, separated and co-habiting people, by contrast, report negative experiences.”
I am a single mom, never married. Before I had my daughter who is now 6, I thought I was happy and that my life was complete. I couldn’t have been more wrong. I still remember the day I found out I was pregnant. January 16, 2003. That was one of the happiest days of my life. I again, didn’t think I could get any happier. I was proven wrong again on Sept. 16, 2003, the day my daughter was born. I finally learned what “true” happiness really was. It has been difficult raising a child on my own, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything else in this world. I honestly don’t think getting married would make me any happier. I also don’t think having anymore children would make me any happier, it would make me more blessed and honored. Even though I would LOVE to have another baby, I am VERY happy with the one I have. She is my life, and my link to true happiness. I am so thankful for my daughter, without her, I would have never found out what true happiness really was.
It’s easy for a single parent to say they are happier with a child because they do not have to make time for their spouse or partner and not be able to since they kids takes up the majority of the time. I used to be a daycare worker for 6 years before I had my first daughter and I thought it would be very easy to have my old child, but I was wrong. Sometimes both my husband and I wish we never had kids. There are times we are glad we had kids, but it is hard not to have an relatives to be able to watch them for us to even go out once in a blue moon and no money to hire a babysitter since we are one income family. Don’t get me wrong, I love my daughters, but there are times we wish we are able to go out just by ourselves and have some adult time like go to a restaurant without considering whether it is kids friendly or not.
I certainly don’t feel rewarded for being a stay at home mommy to my girls when all they want is daddy even though I am their primary caregiver. They could care less about me and I definitely do not get pay for taking care of them. Sometimes I feel cheated from the government because stay at home moms does not get credit towards their social security. I think stay at home moms should get 1/2 of the credit of their spouse that is working to make it fair since taking care of children is harder work than an actual job. That is just my opinion.
I am a stay at home mom and I have to agree with Kathy on so many aspects. I am a helicopter mom as Dr. Phil puts it and I have issues that make me overprotective. My marriage has went through so many things because of having children. It is hard being a mom sometimes trying to balance family and a husband. I, too have no family or babysitters and it is hard to keep your marriage alive when you do not have time to put in a lot of effort. I do not agree with children “making” a marriage happier. It can enrich however if not careful it can also destroy.