It seems that recently I have been seeing quite a few new infant twins and also my first set of triplets. It is great fun for me as their pediatrician, but I can only imagine what it is like to bring two or three babies home from the hospital and into their “new” home. My husband and I had quite a bit of adjusting to do with the addition of one baby at a time, to total three!!

But, one of the most interesting things to me as a doctor/mother is the differences that infants have in temperament. Even with a twin or a triplet, knowing that the babies had the “same” intra-uterine experience, and usually relatively the same delivery, they may have such different personalities and temperaments. I can often see this even in the first few days in the nursery, but it becomes more evident in the first several weeks. Parents of “multiples” will often comment that “twin A’ seems easier to settle, or “twin B” is more alert, but more difficult to console. Now with the new triplets, these parents are also acutely aware of the differences in their baby’s personalities, some of which may be due to gender (there are two boys who are identical, and a girl).

As often as we parents say, “don’t compare your children”, how can you not compare children born on the same day and within minutes of one another? Parents are always marking milestones including the first smile, first time to sleep through the night, first time to roll, and so on and so on.  Now think about having two or three babies and someone does something before the others. Does that mean that that child is a “genius” or are the others “slow”? What if the one that smiles first is also the most “difficult” of the infants in terms of calming and soothing, is that indicative of a problem? It just amazes me that these parents don’t come in with more stories like that. It is also hard to “understand” that what you do for one baby to get them to sleep is exactly the opposite of what the other one likes. All of these little nuances show up very early and will most likely continue throughout their childhood. In other words, it seems to me that we are really born with some genetic temperament, that are then molded by our experiences. Even when twins or triplets seem to have the “same” experiences they are often very different.

This difference is really seen in fraternal twins or triplets who are given the same toys to play with, but will play with them in a completely different way, especially by gender. As one mother of multiples said to me, “if you think I have time to show them how to play differently you are crazy!” they just do it! The little girl takes the blocks and quietly builds a tower, while her brother knocks his blocks down as quickly as he stacks them. Watching these children is like a child development course for me as their pediatrician, so fascinating.

Genetics and how that may affect our innate personality is quite fascinating, and is even more pronounced in twins and triplets. It must be great fun to watch that unfold, but I really hear more about their sleep habits and differences in the early days, than who smiled first! Sleep is the great equalizer.

That’s your daily dose, we’ll chat again tomorrow.