Parenting

Be Kind, Give Thanks

2:00

In the spirit of this holiday season and throughout the year, I shall try and follow the example of Perri Brackett. Who is Perri Brackett? She’s a Dallas Morning News Community Voices volunteer columnist that wrote a wonderfully thought-provoking column the other day on losing patience and finding kindness.

The act that changed her perspective happened last December. She was shopping at Sprouts and had two coupons for free products. I’ll let her tell you what happened next.

“ I got to the checkout, and I pulled out my coupons. The checker was first confused with the “free product” on the coupon. She did her job and read the fine print. At this point, I started getting frustrated. Why couldn’t she just take the coupons that I knew were good?

She then decided to scan the coupons, and they didn’t work. My impatience was rearing its ugly head as she called over a manager to help. And what did I do? I grabbed the coupons, paid my bill and stormed out. Nothing free that day.”

I can’t even begin to count the times that I’ve let myself get frustrated in a line or with the person checking me out, so I understand how quickly it can happen.

However, I don’t usually take the follow-up action Ms. Brackett took.

She went home, sat down and wrote a letter of apology to the checker.  She returned to the store the next day, but the checker was off. She gave the letter to the manager and apologized for her behavior. He remembered her from the day before. After hearing her out, he hugged her and said in all his years of managing, this was the first time a customer had apologized for being rude.

I’ll let her pick it up from here: “I decided right then and there, I was going to be nicer to people I didn’t know who were trying to help me. Have you noticed yourself being just flat-out nasty to people who are trying to help you? Losing patience? If so, try being nice to people; you’ll be happier.

I now thank the checkers for their help each and every time I check out from a store. I’ve even started thanking the janitor in the women’s bathroom, if I see one. That’s an interesting one — do that and watch their face light up. Talk about a thankless job that isn’t easy that people do with pride.” Brackett wrote.

I’ve found that being patient with people feels much better than feeling frustrated or angry with them. Having said that, I admit that there have been too many times when I’ve lost my patience with someone.  Granted, not every sales person or checker is helpful or nice to me. Sometimes, my anger may even be considered justified.

But you know what? Kicking a hornet’s nest doesn’t help any situation. There’s enough anger and ugly actions taking place these days without my contribution.

Which brings me to setting an example for our kids. Children seldom pay as much attention to what we say as we think they should, but they watch what we do. They learn how to respond to situations by watching how we respond.

As the classic Crosby, Stills and Nash song says, “Teach your children well”, by showing them that love, kindness and patience are the most positive ways to respond when life’s irritations creep up and get under our skin.

Particularly during this time of year, there are lots of opportunities to be a good example. As Bracket so eloquently writes at the end of her article; “As the year winds down and shopping season speeds up, it might be a nice time to remember to take a deep breath and thank someone for their help. It might become a habit.”

While Thanksgiving is a special day that rolls around once a year, giving thanks and being kind are actions we can take every singe day.  

Source: Perri Brackett, http://www.dallasnews.com/opinion/latest-columns/20141121-perri-brackett-its-not-easy-being-nice-but-try-it.ece

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